"Honesty is the best policy."

Few among us would question the validity of Ben Franklin's famous quote, but it is usually assumed that he was talking about being honest with others. It would be hard to dispute that concept, but when it comes to being honest with ourselves, the plot thickens considerably.

We may never have considered the importance of being honest with ourselves. Let's consider some of the various ways we may be dishonest with ourselves.

Self-delusion is a byproduct of inaccurately assessing our talents, challenges, or circumstances, subsequently resulting in a distorted self-image. This incorrect self-image can either minimize or inflate our actual talents or challenges.

Denial is an attempt to convince ourselves that our perception of reality is skewed, or by refusing to accept the actual situation. Instead we attempt to ignore or not believe facts that are difficult to dispute.

Self-deprecation can reflect a diminished self-worth profile. We try to convince ourselves that we just aren't good enough, attractive enough, smart enough, etc. to deserve success, love, or contentment. This may also suggest an attempt to elicit sympathy or pity from others.

Procrastination can be used to delay the inevitable, or alternatively to put off something that we really think we want. (Please refer to Puzzling Procrastination in the archived articles)

"Mis-underestimating" ourselves is often a result of what we have been told by an authority figure at an early age. It then becomes easy for us to find validation of this deficit and dismiss any signals that contradict the validity of the premise. I strongly recommend the books The Lies We Believe and The Lies We Tell Ourselves by Dr. Chris Thurman. (For more detailed reviews please see the Recommended Book section of this site)

Projection, or blaming others for our misfortune or lack of success, involves self-absolution through assigning guilt to other people or circumstances. We may have difficulty accepting responsibility for our lack of success or progress. (Please see the article on Taking Responsibility)

A distorted perspective may result from comparing ourselves with others who are perceived as more fortunate than us. (Please refer to Pursuit of Perfection for a further discussion).

If some of these methods of being dishonest with ourselves sound familiar, welcome to the human race. It is quite easy to fall prey to these methods of self-deception at times when things are less than perfect (i.e., all the time).

A qualified astrologer can aid in the quest for enhanced self-honesty by helping to better understand our inherent strengths and challenges, increasing awareness of how to best balance our individual traits, and by developing a meaningful strategy for the future. By doing so, our goals become clearer and more attainable.