Is Sensitivity a Burden or a Blessing?

I often describe sensitivity as a double-edged sword. On the one hand, sensitivity can be construed (by ourselves or by others) as vulnerability. We may become a victim-in-waiting for someone to thrust their problem squarely onto our laps and expect us to take care of it for them. If we don't (or can't) we've let that other person down. Then we may feel inadequate, guilty, or otherwise somehow insensitive to their needs. 

On a much more positive note, sensitivity translates to a keen awareness of something that eludes others. If we see or feel things that other people don't even notice, that's sensitivity too. Being a good observer is something we can all work on and to a degree, it's a learned trait. We can teach ourselves to tune in both to others and to our own intuition, though it's much easier for some of us than for others. 

Gender powerfully enters into the sensitivity equation. While sensitivity generally evokes qualities of the feminine nature, it isn't just an x or y chromosome thing.

From my admittedly biased viewpoint, it is probably somewhat more difficult for males to embrace their sensitivity. From an early age, most little boys are told that, "Big boys don't cry" or other not-so-subtle messages that corroborate the historical masculine stereotype of being in control and excluding anything but, "Just the facts, Ma'am". The unspoken message, unfortunately, is that to be sensitive is to show weakness and is duly ingrained by most boys at an early age.

Regardless of gender, there comes a time when we're all encouraged or required to "put away childish things" like sensitivity. What I consider one the most unfortunate offshoots of this attitude is the squelching of creative sensitivity at an early age. We're admonished to, "Be a big boy (or girl)". In particular, we're taught that anything outside the boundaries of traditional reality is foolish, wrong, or just downright impossible. Who knows what we would be capable of if we weren't routinely told by our parents or teachers what we can't do and that our intuition couldn't possibly have any real value or merit. As adults many of us have made a substantial attempt as adults to reconnect to what came so naturally to us as young children.

And sensitivity certainly isn't an exclusively human trait. The recent tragic Tsunamis demonstrated this in compelling fashion. The monumental loss of human life almost defies comprehension. But another little-reported assessment of the disaster turned up a rather astonishing fact. While human bodies were being recovered in record numbers there were few, if any, dead animals in the carnage. Could it be that they were somehow tipped off about the impending disaster and knew to move to a safer locale? Stories abound of animals being forewarned about earthquakes and other natural disasters.

So why must we stubbornly refuse to believe things that cannot be rationally explained? It strikes me as rather odd that some of us with the strongest religious or spiritual beliefs may be among the most reluctant to accept any aberration from our rather rigid views of modern reality, while not doubting in the least the multiple miracles of biblical record. While it may be considered blasphemous to doubt the bible, it may also seem sacrilegious to believe that any current events not totally explainable by today's standards of reality are possible. Personally, I aspire to the group that believes in miracles, both then and now. But I digress. 

Then there's the separate issue of sensitivity in relationships. While relationships devoid of all sensitivity seem irreversibly doomed to failure, a too-sensitive relationship where (at least) one partner constantly feels used or abused is equally bereft of potential for lasting success. Sensitivity has its place in relationships, but incorporating it is no simple matter. Being in tune with our partner is undeniably desirable. Perhaps the best scenario incorporates sensitivity in its awareness mode more so than its vulnerable mode. But even then, vulnerability plays a useful role, albeit a far less obvious one. Relationships, particularly intimate physical relationships, require a certain degree of vulnerability from both participants in order to flourish. Perhaps it is related to trust, a situation where we feel comfortable enough with our partner (and ourselves) to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Looking at the signs of the Zodiac, when we discuss sensitivity, two signs stand out. Not surprisingly these are both water signs: Cancer and Pisces. Charts where either of these ultra-sensitive signs are pronounced would be expected to exhibit substantial sensitivity. The Cancer sensitivity is more likely to be shown as an emotional sensitivity, while the Piscean one has a slightly more humanitarian, more global and less sensitivity on a personal level. Charts without a strong Cancerian or Piscean influence are not necessarily lacking in sensitivity, but it probably won't come as naturally and may require more work to tap in to.

In closing then, I'd have to say that sensitivity is both a burden and a blessing. Sensitivity should be something that we embrace and honor, but use wisely and judiciously.