"Just
who do you think you are?" This aggressively
confrontational question may quickly put us on the defensive. That,
however, is not my intent with this article. Rather, it is presented
to encourage some personal introspection as we reflect on the past year
and look forward to the coming one.
Throughout our lives, we find ourselves
in situations that force us to define and defend who we are.
Early on, a parent, an older sibling, a teacher, or some other authority
figure may have asked us this rhetorical question. Usually it is an
implied (if not expressed), "You aren't nearly as important or as
big a deal as you think you are!" It's as if we're being
commanded to justify our very existence.
In actuality, we probably really aren't
who we think we are. And we almost certainly aren't who others
think we are (or think we should be).
So what determines who we think we are? Here are
some important factors:
Some of these factors can be controlled. Some
can't. Some require good luck or good timing. But each is a
matter of perspective. None of life's circumstances have any
significance until we react to them and assign them a value.
Let me offer a hypothetical example of my point.
Consider a young boy of 8 being told by his mother
that, "You'll never amount to anything! You're just like
your father!" The boy may resign himself to this limiting,
critical prophecy and never amount to anything.
Another boy in exactly the same situation might use
this criticism as a source of motivation, "I'll show everybody.
I'll really make something of my life."
Even though both situations were identical, the two
boys reacted very differently to the same event and emerged with
dramatically different attitudes.
In this very manner, challenges can be turned to our
advantage. How many people can you think of that overcame seemingly
insurmountable odds only to reach the pinnacle of success?
And it isn't just what other people say.
More often, it's also what we tell ourselves. In both
situations, we tend to interpret events so that they fit into our
pre-formed expectations of who we think we are. We look for
confirmation (either positive or negative) that reinforces our images of
ourselves.
I'm not suggesting that we always look at life through
rose-colored glasses. What I am suggesting is that we let ourselves
look at the glass as more than half full, and rising.
It isn't easy to see ourselves objectively. But the next time you look in the mirror, ask yourself,
"Just who do you
think you are?" and also, "Who will you choose to be
tomorrow?" Work with all your tools. Embrace
your challenges. Make a statement. Make a difference.
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